0032

Discouragement can take many forms. The vague feeling of estrangement from society, a sense of loneliness or isolation. Today it took the form of bugs. Ticks becoming more numerous as the weather turns warmer, the little gnats that fly into my eyes and ears, the ravenous mosquitoes. I remind myself how much I really want to do this; will myself to tough it out. "I'll get these tomatoes in the ground, or my name ain't Elmer Fudd!"

Then the reminder I need finds me, as if seeking me out. I come across the first corn emerging, the miracle of new life. Takes me back to my childhood, living on the family farm near Amiret, MN. I would get a tin can, fill it with dirt, and plant a kernel or two of corn from the corn crib. A little water, then set it on a window sill, and check it every day. For several days nothing seemed to be happening, but this farmer's son knew the seed was waking and growing. Then my faith would be vindicated. Seeing that seedling emerge always gave me a little rush, almost a sense of the divine. Still has that effect.